Feisty and Five

Safe in Papa's arms

Dear Audyn,
The fact that you are already five surprises me. I can't believe how my little bird flies. I think one of the signs of daughters and sons growing up is when moms and dads can't take much credit anymore for the positive qualities others notice in them.  If I had to choose one word to describe you at this stage of our life, it's emerging. Like a baby chick pecking her way out of the shell. Like a shoot unfolding.

those eyes!

Here are few of the things I've heard others say about you in the last year:
1. You're kind to others
2. You're funny!
3. You're an artist
4. You're creative
5. You have a gentle, sensitive spirit
6. You are strong-willed and independent
7. You are brave and determined
8. You are shy with your peers
9. You like quality time with the people you love
10.  You're exceptional
11. You're feisty!

When I add up this list, it does paint a pretty good picture of you at five. Your kindness and gentleness make you a wonderful middle sister: patient with your older sister and nurturing with your younger brother. You love your family. When asked who you wanted at your birthday party, your answer this year was the same as last: Grammy and Papa; Grandma and Grandpa. When you learned that Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't be able to be here on your special day, you were so disappointed. "I thought they were coming!" you protested.

sibling love

While you are shy in a group of peers and this year of preschool has been challenging for you in some ways, you are not afraid to step up and try new things--like jumping into the deep end of the pool for the first time. You kept telling your teachers you could do it, and they kept saying wait. And then one day you just got into the line for jumping on your own and did it.  You're a girl who makes up her mind and gets the job done.

Lake Michigan

I would also add that your quick wit is one of my greatest joys. You make me laugh all the time. I can't write down your little jokes and quick come backs fast enough. Some day I'll give you the record I've been keeping. I hope it makes you smile, too. I think you often surprise yourself with your quick comebacks. You've thought them up and said them out loud before even you realize how funny they are.

You love playing by yourself as much as you love playing with others. When you get home from school, your favorite afternoon is lunch with mom and Kaleb, snuggle time on the couch with books and mom, and then an hour or two of playing on your own before Emelyn comes home from school. I love listening to your play. You create the most imaginative worlds and situations with all your "stuffies" and dolls and miniature animals. Since Sunday you've been mothering your new American Girl Doll, laying out her clothes at night for the morning, and dressing her when you get dressed, taking her with us in the car everywhere we go, and feeding and tucking her intobed at night. It's a big job that you take very seriously.

Your "please don't watch  me" face

On Tuesday we dropped K off at his first day of preschool. It was hard for me to leave him, though he was perfectly fine without me. You and I held hands as we walked down the hall together, moving further and further away from our little guy. "This is weird," I told you. You looked up at me with your big brown eyes and they were full of compassion. Suddenly, I felt as if you were the one holding my hand rather than me holding yours. When we got in the car again, you said, "I wish Bubby were in his seat. I want him to come with us." I decided we needed a distraction, so we went "out for coffee" together. When we sat down at our table, you realized I had forgotten to get you a drink. You decided to go get one by yourself. I handed you my credit card and watched you march to the cold case, select your juice, get in line, and wait. You waited a long time. The worker at the register kept looking right past you to the adults in line, asking what they wanted. You turned around a looked at me once, but didn't say a word, just stood there like a little soldier waiting, waiting. Finally, the server noticed you and tried to charge your juice to the woman you were standing next to. "She's not with me!" exclaimed the woman, more disturbed she might be charged for your juice then that you were up there alone.  You quietly smiled and handed the worker the credit card. I waved to her from behind you and she completed the transaction. You thanked her, took the card and juice, and waltzed back to your seat with me, cool as a cucumber on a summer day. That's when I noticed something new about the five-year-old you. The way you move.

You always have had your own sense of style!

Somewhere along the way you left the wobbly preschool gait behind you and acquired this poised graceful walk of your very own. It's lovely. My eyes don't always notice those small details, those telltale signs that tell the story of my baby blooming.

I like you a whole lot Audyn Grace DeWeerd. If you weren't already my daughter, I'd ask you to be my friend.

"I sure wish I had an Audyn like you," I sometimes whisper in your ear.
"Mommy! You do!" you remind me every time.

What amazing good fortune. What a beautiful blessing. My Audyn-girl, my Little Pip. How I love you. Happy Birthday.