All In

This month's blog post is by guest writer Audyn D. Audyn wrote this essay for her grade 5 writing workshop. I wanted to share it because I sometimes get asked how our two older girls have been impacted by their brother's diagnosis of Down syndrome. Some (mis)perceptions we've fielded over the years include:

1. It seems unfair that one child gets so much of his parents' time when all three children need us.
2. The girls must feel like they're always in the background.
3. Would Kaleb be better off at a special school?
4. The girls must have a lot of extra responsiblity.
It is true that some days are challenging and yes, there is an added element to the sibling relationships at our house. But hard things aren't bad, they're just hard. Every family experiences challenges. Our challenges just might look different than the average family's. And that added element? Well, we actually think it's pretty amazing.

The above questions and statements also bear the shifting, but still prevalent, assumption that individuals with special needs do all the taking from their caregivers, communities, friends, and loved ones, and offer little or nothing in return. I hope this essay will put that assumption to rest. What our family has gained by being part of the Down syndrome community and more importantly, by being loved and taught by our Kaleb, far outweighs anything we have had to give.

We are never diminished by what we give, only enriched.

All In

By Audyn

Everyday millions of kids attend school together, laugh together, and play games together, but some kids are sitting on the sidelines just watching all the fun. These kids may have some disabilities, are a tad bit strange, and look a little different, but they still need to be included in everyday joys.

We sometimes categorize kids with disabilities into a separate group, but we have more things in common than we think. I know we just have to dig a little deeper than outside looks to discover these similarities. For instance, all kids love to play and have fun and all kids want friends. If you were the parents of a kid with a disability you might be watching them make friends enjoying each other's company, and I know how much parents love watching their kids have fun, but some parents might be seeing their kids alone making them sad too. Let's change that and include everyone! Next, we all want to learn to become smart and to be happy with our grades. Third we all want to be successful, to walk up and receive a shiny medal at one thing or another, for people to smile at us and say “good job!” Kids with disabilities have the same wants and dreams. They are people, too.

Another reason is kids with disabilities are smart and have good ideas. An example is one time when my brother, who has Down syndrome, Mom, and I bounded outside we played snowball tag together laughing and having all the fun in the world. Then, just before we went in, Kaleb had an idea, so he jumped up and ran to the garage. He came running out, sat down, and started packing snow into the plastic sand castle maker he brought back. My mother and I helped. We flipped it over together. A perfect castle emerged. We smiled big smiles discovering snow made better castles than sand. Another example is the time when Kaleb and I were playing with his marbles. He got out his giant Hot Wheels transportation truck and set it up on the window-seat and opened a tiny door to a slide that you could roll cars down. Then he pushed a marble down the chute. It catapulted off the end and rolled across the floor. We spent the rest of the afternoon racing marbles. These two examples may sound simple, but it shows us a creative kid with many good ideas. 

As Christians it’s important to remember that God created all of us in his image (Genesis 1:27). Psalm 139:14 says “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” On my brother's birthday his teacher wrote this psalm and put his name inplace of “I” on the board to say “Kaleb is fearfully and wonderfully made.” His classmates came up with compliments and printed them next to the verse. They do this tradition for everyone in the class. Kaleb like everyone is created equally, the same, in God's image, so they don’t leave him out, they include him!

Some people might worry that kids with disabilities will be hard to understand. They may say they will be difficult to handle. They may say they will take attention away from other kids. But these things could be true of any child with or without a disability. When students face challenges teachers can come up with fantastic things they never even thought of before! Teachers can also plan ahead and get the extra resources they need. That's extra work but as I said, it's worth it!

These reasons and many more show us that kids like Kaleb need to be included. Children with disabilities are different. But everyone is different in different ways. We are all people. They have a lot to offer and are good friends. Really, look into the Bible and see what God says about it. I assure you he says include them! It's also true you can get a little tired with some behaviors. But really, in the long-run they have many wonderful things to contribute to the world. So please give them a chance they want to be included too.